Relational Repair Service

Mediation and guided support returning to harmony after ruptures.

We are dedicated to creating, maintaining, and updating standards of ethical practice, supporting practitioners in realising their creative potential.

ow can we increase our awareness of our unintended impact, and how can we repair ruptures that occur following unintended impact?

Our experienced Professional Supervisors & RUPI Repair coaches are here to guide you every step of the way, making sure your voice is heard and acknowledged with understanding and kindness, in privacy and with confidentiality. Each of our Repair team members is trained in the RUPI repair model, which is proven to support genuine repair without gaslighting.

No more loneliness and upset

For the one impacted needing support to voice and be acknowledged.
For the one in lonely refuges of defensive shame when discovering an intention-impact mismatch.
For the ones encountering and navigating relational dynamics and pole positioning

Feedback

This is how we learn how to co-create our relationships together without being cast out from our secure belonging. Learning how to share feedback in ways it can be received & and how to receive feedback without reactivity is at the heart of effective speaking up and successful repair.

The 5 services we offer for peace of mind and heart. finding ways back home to feelings of safety. We are dedicated to offering mediated repair processes for the following:

1) For Relational Harmony Institute practitioners and clients -

Support from being impacted as a client or needing support as a practitioner in navigating a professional intention - impact mismatch rupture.

2) For professional ruptures

a) Support with having been impacted while receiving a service or

b) needing support in navigating a professional intention - impact mismatch rupture as a service provider

3) For organisational ruptures -

Support from being in a rupture or group dynamic where you are impacted and needing support with a member of your community, team, professional body, professional field or organisation.

4) For couples, friends and families -

Support for being impacted or needing support in navigating a personal rupture.

5) Empowering feedback & repair: Two-part group workshops -

Learning opportunities and support. Part 1- Empowering feedback & repair, Part 2 - Empowering speaking up. These two workshops are offered to anyone who wants to learn about these repair processes to self-manage and facilitate.

Arrange a Discovery call here

It can take courage to speak up, and it is often a tender process for everyone.

Step 1 - When we receive your message

Please email us at home@relationalharmony.institute

When we receive your message or feedback, we will respond with an invitation to share fully what you experienced. This could be in an online meeting or in an email. This meeting would be with one of our repair practitioners

Our intentions in this meeting would be to acknowledge the ways in which you have been impacted, to understand fully what happened and to find out what you might need to have happen next. You will be in choice about the ways you wish to move forward and we are here to support you with your decisions with the various options you can choose from.

Speaking up takes courage

Arrange a free speaking-up meeting with a member of our faculty about any ethical concerns regarding a practitioner.

These meetings are in confidence. We value feedback.

Arrange a meeting here

And there may be times when you don’t feel able to speak up directly to the other or times when you feel you have spoken up and have not been fully heard or understood.

We offer support in the process of being fully heard and understood especially if your speaking up has been disqualified and you’ve found yourself lonely with what you know to be true. This is a private process in confidence especially when there might be fears of consequences to speaking up.

Phase one - The preparation Phase of a repair

Phase One - Preparation phase

Reaching out and arranging the first meeting with your chosen repair practitioner. This could be one person or both. Deciding together what is the best way forward - options include

a mediated repair process, individual or joint sessions, role-play repair process and/or attending the Empowering Feedback & Repair workshop

We then explore and decide together what preparation is needed for this next step

These options include

Individual or joint session(s) to prepare both people for a repair process and be resourced and ready to engage in a repair process.

Other options would be

attending the empowering feedback and repair workshop to equip you with the skills to self-manage your repair process

The first meeting

What’s needed to prepare for a repair process? - might be a number of meetings or one meeting, either individually or together.
Let's reflect on the situation and the best way forward, and together assess what's needed to move this repair process forward.
Preparing both people for the repair process

Phase Two- The repair process.

Phase Two: The Repair Process

You may wish to move into a mediated repair process. This might be one session or more in which one person learns to hold space for their partner or friend with our guidance using the five-step repair process.
Once this is complete, there is a second phase of repair, and both people are likely to have been impacted; this process is guided the other way round

Phase Three - Integration & Reflections

Reflecting on the deepening trust in the relationship or something else

Acknowledging that there may be further waves of repair

With that deepening trust, one often gives further confidence to be with deeper layers of the relationship, where ruptures have impacted the relationship.

You may wish to have further individual sessions with the same practitioner following a successful repair process, or continue your journey with another of our practitioners for support.

The 5 distinct Repair services we offer

1 - Feedback & speaking up about an Relational Harmony Institute practitioner as a colleague or client.

We offer 1-1 consultation, advice, guidance, coaching and supervision for ruptures in a professional relationship with one of our RHI or historically trained Sea School of Embodiment practitioners.
We understand that ethics is a community responsibility, and as the RHI certifying body for all our practitioners, we take responsibility for any areas where we may not have adequately equipped practitioners for ethical practice.
We encourage clients and peers to speak up when they have concerns about a practitioner and we offer facilitated repair processes and supervision support to practitioners when needed.
Our Somatic Intimacy Coaches and Somatic Intimacy Bodywork Practitioners offer an educational and therapeutic modality, and when we are in the practitioner role, everything we offer is in service to the client’s learning and is requested or chosen by the client.
We are passionate about ethical practice and proud of our 4-year training programs, including Professional Supervision and Somatic Sex Education.
The initial consultation is free of charge.
2 - Professional ruptures
We offer 1-1 consultation, advice, guidance, coaching and supervision for ruptures in a professional relationship
- Are you speaking up with ethical concerns about a professional and wanting advice on ways to speak up?
- Are you lonely, experiencing the aftermath of an impact, and in need of support to speak up?
- Are you a professional in your field of practice in the midst of or after receiving difficult feedback and needing support with managing a rupture?
We offer facilitated RUPI model repair processes for 2 parties or groups who both want to engage in a repair process:
- Employer/Employee, Practitioner/Client, Teacher/Student, Medical Professional/Patient,
- Colleagues/team members/peers
When repair is not possible for any reason, we offer role-play repair processes for anyone impacted by misuse of power, past or present, intended or unintended, who is unable to engage with the person who impacted them for any reason.
Organisational ruptures
offer 1-1 & group consultation, advice, guidance, coaching and supervision for ruptures in ANY role as part of an organisation
- for businesses,
- Training organisations, Schools & Universities,
- Teams, Groups, Communities,
- human resources departments, etc
- Are you part of a team or a member in your organisation in the midst of or after receiving difficult feedback and needing support with managing a rupture?
- Are you part of a team or a member in your organisation in the midst or aftermath of a rupture that is impacting your ability to participate in your given roles and in need of support to speak up?
- Are you part of a team in a managerial or CEO position in your organisation in the midst or after receiving difficult feedback and needing support with managing a rupture?
- Are you a professional in your field of practice as part of a team in the midst or after receiving difficult feedback and needing support with managing a rupture?
We offer facilitated RUPI model repair processes for 2 parties or groups who both want to engage in a repair process:
When repair is not possible for any reason, we offer role-play repair processes for anyone impacted by misuse of power, past or present, intended or unintended, who is unable to engage with the person who harmed them.
Couples, Friends & Family ruptures
We offer consultation, advice, coaching and facilitated repair processes for couples, friends, and families navigating a rupture in their personal lives.
For couples experiencing a rupture or a pattern of ruptures in your relationship and both wanting to resolve these and come out from pole positioning?
For a family member or friend in need of support with managing a rupture?
For individuals lonely, experiencing the aftermath of an impact, and in need of support to speak up?
We offer facilitated RUPI model repair processes for 2 parties or groups who both want to engage in a repair process:
- Couples
- Family members
- Friends
When repair is not possible for any reason, we offer role-play repair processes for anyone impacted by misuse of power, past or present, intended or unintended, and who is unable to engage with the person who impacted them for any reason.
We would consider the repair process to be complete once you feel that:
- that you are experiencing a sense of completion
- that all aspects of the dynamics from this rupture have been fully acknowledged
- that the impact and any loneliness you experienced have been fully acknowledged and fully understood.
- that you have received a genuine apology for the impact you experienced, and you genuinely believe this to be true.
- that you are now liberated to let go of resolving this on your own
- that you feel reassured that the person who has impacted you has learned from the experience and put in place any necessary changes to prevent this from happening again to someone else.
And it’s very common for not all of these aspects to be complete. It is understandable that some ruptures take time and spiral learning to find their way to completion.
Unrepairable ruptures

And there are some ruptures that can never be healed with the one who impacted you. In these scenarios, we recommend the powerful RUPI role-play with one of our RHI-trained team members or a member of the Right Use of Power organisation.
You may wish to be facilitated in a role play of the 5 step repair process by a trained Right Use of Power facilitator. This supports the person who is at the affect of having been impacted to enter into a process where they have the power ro speak up from a time or situation where they were denied this.
Reclaiming agency with what happened has the potential to reframe history to receive the acknowledgment, understanding, regret, repair and learning that might contribute to the healing of this rupture for the one impacted.
‘I can vouch for the powerful healing of the role play with a trained professional who stood in for the one who I had been severely impacted by. It was scary, and I was trepidatious. What moved in me was something I previously thought was impossible. New perspectives opened my heart into compassion and released me from feeling disabled and living with immense grief in my system.
I discovered compassion and understanding with the person who had tortured and irreversibly injured my son. He was in prison, so repair was definitely not possible. I felt an inner understanding of his impoverished world, devoid of knowing how it is to be loved by a mother. Jesus said, ‘they know not what they are doing’; Nobody would deliberately harm another if they knew what it feels like to be loved and to love.
Many people are under the influence of the Dehumanisation network in the brain, which creates separation from care and compassion.
A life living without care for others is a life devoid of love.’ - Katie Sarra

Taking responsibility with fears of blame takes courage

It’s normal and understandable to fear blame and loss of belonging and to feel activated, defensive, and in need of refuge.

Developing skills to receive and process difficult feedback with grace and openness, including managing reactivity and shame responses.

We offer support for your courage in this process to understand and learn as you re-establish your sovereignty from what might have been an intention-impact mismatch.

Accountability Steps for a practitioner seeking restoration of sovereignty in their professional status

1 - Feedback & speaking up about an Relational Harmony Institute practitioner as a colleague or client.

We offer 1-1 consultation, advice, guidance, coaching and supervision for ruptures in a professional relationship with one of our RHI or historically trained Sea School of Embodiment practitioners.
We understand that ethics is a community responsibility, and as the RHI certifying body for all our practitioners, we take responsibility for any areas where we may not have adequately equipped practitioners for ethical practice.
We encourage clients and peers to speak up when they have concerns about a practitioner and we offer facilitated repair processes and supervision support to practitioners when needed.
Our Somatic Intimacy Coaches and Somatic Intimacy Bodywork Practitioners offer an educational and therapeutic modality, and when we are in the practitioner role, everything we offer is in service to the client’s learning and is requested or chosen by the client.
We are passionate about ethical practice and proud of our 4-year training programs, including Professional Supervision and Somatic Sex Education.
The initial consultation is free of charge.
We view ethics as a community responsibility

Accountability is required to restore the Practitioner under review's integrity in the public professional roles they are marketing themselves as holding.
Accountability is the understanding that our ethics influence our collective and are not alone but part of a collective community responsibility. We provide steps to support practitioners in their journey back to integrity and to facilitate the repairs necessary to restore harmony. We would regard accountability as including:
If a repair process is not possible and there has been a breach of ethics:

1. the impacted person would engage in a repair process with another representing the person who impacted them. This can clarify what would be needed for the impacted person to feel the grievance process would be complete
2. the practitioner would also engage in a repair process with another representing the impacted person. This can clarify what the practitioner would need in terms of support, education and accountability.
3. If there has been practitioner conduct outside of the code of ethics then the Governing Body or School can support the practitioner in an accountability process involving education and supervision to support them into ethical alignment with the Governing Body or School
4. If the practitioner is unable to engage in learning and is not aligned with the code of ethics the Governing Body or School should then no longer endorse the practitioner and has a duty of care to share their concerns in order to protect prospective clients and students.
5. If there has been serious misconduct and the Governing Body or School has concerns for the safety of other clients and students then the Governing Body or School should no longer endorse the practitioner, has a duty of care to share their concerns in order to protect prospective clients and students and may be need to take further action to ensure that the practitioner does not continue to practice during the accountability process of education, supervision and any legal process that the person impacted may have initiated.
If a repair process is not possible and there has not been any breach of ethics but impact has none-the less occurred:

1. The impacted person would engage in a repair process with another representing the person who impacted them. This can clarify what would be needed for the impacted person to feel that the grievance process would be complete
2. The practitioner would also engage in a repair process with another representing the impacted person. This can clarify what the practitioner would need in terms of support and education.
3. The Institution Body or School can then support the practitioner through the process involving education and supervision.
We would consider the repair process to be complete once you feel that:
- that you are experiencing a sense of completion
- that all aspects of the dynamics from this rupture have been fully acknowledged
- that the impact and any loneliness you experienced have been fully acknowledged and fully understood.
- that you have received a genuine apology for the impact you experienced, and you genuinely believe this to be true.
- that you are now liberated to let go of resolving this on your own
- that you feel reassured that the person who has impacted you has learned from the experience and put in place any necessary changes to prevent this from happening again to someone else.
And it’s very common for not all of these aspects to be complete. It is understandable that some ruptures take time and spiral learning to find their way to completion.
Unrepairable ruptures

And there are some ruptures that can never be healed with the one who impacted you. In these scenarios, we recommend the powerful RUPI role-play with one of our RHI-trained team members or a member of the Right Use of Power organisation.
You may wish to be facilitated in a role play of the 5 step repair process by a trained Right Use of Power facilitator. This supports the person who is at the affect of having been impacted to enter into a process where they have the power ro speak up from a time or situation where they were denied this.
Reclaiming agency with what happened has the potential to reframe history to receive the acknowledgment, understanding, regret, repair and learning that might contribute to the healing of this rupture for the one impacted.
‘I can vouch for the powerful healing of the role play with a trained professional who stood in for the one who I had been severely impacted by. It was scary, and I was trepidatious. What moved in me was something I previously thought was impossible. New perspectives opened my heart into compassion and released me from feeling disabled and living with immense grief in my system.
I discovered compassion and understanding with the person who had tortured and irreversibly injured my son. He was in prison, so repair was definitely not possible. I felt an inner understanding of his impoverished world, devoid of knowing how it is to be loved by a mother. Jesus said, ‘they know not what they are doing’; Nobody would deliberately harm another if they knew what it feels like to be loved and to love.
Many people are under the influence of the Dehumanisation network in the brain, which creates separation from care and compassion.
A life living without care for others is a life devoid of love.’ - Katie Sarra
What are the RHI requirements for return to soveriegty and restoration of professional status?
- Communicating with the professionals with whom they are affiliated with.
- Participating in supervised supervision and communicating attuned compassion, care, remorse and learning in relation to the dynamics where they found themselves in a rupture.
- Communicating with the School that they were trained with for illuminating understanding of the ways the teaching of ethical practice is being practiced and what aspects of the curriculum and ethical practice have not being learned and require aftercare support.
- Share genuine remorse for the aspects of the emotional harm and impact actions have had.
- We would regard accountability to be a communication of sincere acknowledgment, understanding with genuine remorse, care and learning for themselves and their integrity and for the other(s) impacted by the loss of this.
- Attending to CPD requirements for updating ethical practice where the original CSB training, perhaps in the old paradigm did not cover this.

‘Harmony can be understood to be the opposite ends of harp strings attuning with each other.’ - Katie Sarra

Some questions are not easily answered, and others are matters of common-sense ethics.

One of the problems with anger is that anger always assumes it is right.

You are in the right place, though, to work through these challenges.

What if I can only afford three sessions?
Should my partner pay as they impacted me?
What if my partner is not ready to repair?
Can we book all three sessions on the same day?
Can I get my money back if the repair process doesn't work?
What if this opens up a can of worms?
Can I bring a support person to the repair session with me?
How long is the repair guaranteed for?
Can I have support on my own without my partner/friend
What if we are both impacted?
What if my partner becomes unreasonable during the repair process?
What if I am in danger raising this with my partner?
What if my partner friend changes their mind about participating in this process?
What happens if one of us doesn’t feel the repar process has worked?
What is the longest repair process ever in history?
Will I get support to get compensation from the other?
What if I discover that repair is not possible, and this is the end of this relationship?

Power Awareness - the Right Use of Power™ and Awareness of systems of power and power dynamics

This is a coaching model that illuminates the blind spots we all carry regarding Role Power and the Power differentials that implicitly influence agency, choice, and decision-making.

We have woven the RUPI™ syllabus into our RHI REEF™ (Relational Erotic & Emotional Fluency) coaching model, using Wheel of Consent practices to support the co-creation of attuned practitioner/Client relationship agreements.

In our experience, this unique blend within our RHI session structure, which includes feedback, helps prevent the formation of unseen ruptures and equips practitioners with the confidence to repair when there is an intention/impact mismatch.

Five Steps for Deeper Intimacy

In five simple steps, we can mend

When we recognise the hurt we've caused.

Noticing the pain in another, we take a breath and choose to listen.

In our roles as practitioners, we have the power to heal, to offer support.

When someone is distressed, we can create space for understanding and reconnection.

Through these 5 steps -

Reflecting on times we felt unseen, there's always the chance for repair,

Role-playing the support we needed, bringing empathy and awareness into our interactions.

With genuine acknowledgement, understanding, and heartfelt apologies,

We can cultivate the skills of care, transforming hurts into paths of healing.

Linda Kaarina - Relational Harmony Institute - CSI Somatic Intimacy Coach

Our Empowering Feedback & Repair Facilitators

Dr Phoebe Garland

Dr Phoebe Garland specialises in training practitioners in Somatic Intimacy Coaching & Bodywork and Somatic Sex Education & Supervision. With over 30 years of clinical experience as a GP,She has attended to the many aspects of pain, inflammation and injuries that impact our ability to participate in life alongside disconnections from care that, when not listened to, can manifest as disease in our bodies.

Throughout her extensive career, she has trained in various disciplines, including shamanism, homoeopathy, group mindfulness training, yoga, Buddhism, the Enneagram, and nutrition. This diverse knowledge base has deepened her insight into the power of intention to mend our wounds—be they physical, emotional, or spiritual.

Co - Founder

Katie Sarra

Katie Sarra has been training practitioners in Somatic Intimacy Coaching & Bodywork, along with Somatic Sex Education & Supervision, since 2014. She brings over 40 years of clinical experience to her work, including roles as an Art Psychotherapist in acute inpatient settings, community mental health settings, and substance misuse teams, supporting people integrate exiled aspects of self that impact participation in life.

Her practice of over 18 years in Playback Theatre has shown the value of intimacy in community and sharing our stories. Her years of practice in Sacred Intimacy and teaching Tantra form the foundation for understanding the necessary ethics when working with altered states. She integrates teachings from various Shamanic disciplines with insights from Affective Relational Neuroscience to explore how integration processes can support us in trusting our attuned creative spontaneity.

Co- Founder

In this process, like the fasting process, we starve our fighting cells of fuel.

In their survival intelligence, they might be like the kicks of a dying horse

If we can bear the intensity and feed them with understanding instead of justifications:

We might die together as fighters, and our original cells of care might sprout and thrive again, and the war is done.

Ng’ethe Wa NJambi Yaa Kithi Kombe (A'akukui Wisdom teacher)